Undeserving Fathers

"It's just not fair," I heard him exclaim.

Then she chimed in, "it's not fair to them, this is your time with them."

Them….ahhhh…yes, the two sweet children, one girl of about 6 and a little boy around 2 ½ years old, they were sitting right there overhearing the entire exchange that their parents were producing. Then the moron (since I don't know his name and don't really give a f*$k I'll call him that) says, "The football game is starting soon and we have to figure this out so I can watch it, it's not fair that I miss it." I looked at her; she turned her head and rolled her eyes. I almost laughed, and would have, if the fury deep down inside wasn't overruling my brain at that moment. You see, I feel her pain because I have been there myself. And, the girlfriends I have that are reading this blog have also been there and can feel her pain, at a very intimate level. The moron turned to his daughter and said in a sickly sweet and all too familiar manipulative goading voice, "honey, would you like to come and watch the football game with me and be really good and not bother me at all or would you like to go home with mommy and paint your nails and have a good day with mommy?" ARE YOU SHITTING ME!!!!!
Ok, let's review the manipulation tactic and re-word this question the way it should have been said, "honey, if you come with me, on the day I am supposed to have you and spend quality time with you, you will be extremely bored because I am going to watch the football game and force you to be quiet and even though you don't want to watch the game…you will….and you won't complain or make a sound, in fact, you might as well not be there because I am not going to pay any attention to you at all OR you can be a good little girl and go home with mommy and she will paint your nails and do 'girly' things with you because since I just said she will do that stuff and volunteered her to do that she will feel a deep obligation to do these things with you and since she feels SO bad that I blew you off, my daughter and flesh and blood, she will probably do your hair too and give you extra candy and treats today because she knows how horribly and irrevocably I just tore down your self-worth and self-esteem by blowing you off today…..so what do you say champ? You're going home with mommy, rrrright!" The mommy didn't say anything; she just sat there, defeated.


My friend cried out her son's name. She couldn't find him; he was there a minute ago. As all parents with one working brain cell know, if you look away for just a minute those little crumb crunchers disappear on you. She wasn't too worried though, because he really couldn't have gone far. I am sure she quickly scanned the quiet residential street in front of their house, just to ensure he didn't wander in the road. Nope. Hmmmm….where the heck did he go? Just then, the butt-hurt ex-boyfriend/father of the 2-year old decided he was going to leave and started backing his truck out of the carport. My friend yelled at him to STOP moving the vehicle. Just then she spotted her son, right behind the back wheel of the truck. Crisis adverted, thanks to quick thinking of the loving mother. Did the father get out of the truck to hug the son he almost killed close to his chest and smother him with kisses? No. Did he apologize to the mother and son profusely for almost running over the toddler? No. Did he do anything other than leave the premises…anything to show remorse or even concern? No. What a loser.


There is a saying that you find what you look for. Perhaps I am only seeing stories about horrible fathers because my son's situation…and that of the majority of my friends. I spent a weekend with my cousin and his two children. This is a story of a very concerned and loving father that even cooks breakfast for his kids (and I don't mean throwing a bowl of cereal in front of them). He is a great father and one that a lot of men could learn from if not just flat out emulate. I do see some great fathers…my cousin, my friend Jeff, my friend Chuy, my friend Matt, and my friend Chris…just to name a few. Unfortunately, guys like these are seemingly almost extinct. I don't know where to find them, and neither do the other single moms I know. Instead what we are left with are these complete losers who would rather watch football than spend their one day a week with their kids (just record the game and watch it later, problem solved), the mentally incapacitated idiots that don't know not to move a vehicle until the child you "know" is missing is present and accounted for, the selfish who don't recognize their children because they have physical/mental challenges that sets them apart from their peers, and all the rest of the self-absorbed morons out there who don't appreciate the product of their own creation. To all those out there, wake up and grow a pair!!!! Get out of your little selfish narcissistic world and take care of your RESPONSIBILITIES….put down your remote control or computer mouse and take care of someone other than yourself who is dependant on YOU for love, guidance, and emotional growth.
To all those moms out there that fight to repair the wake of damage inflicted by people too self-absorbed to even realize the damage they are inflicting on their children, I applaud you!!!! I LOVE YOU and I am extremely proud of the continual march forward that we do every day to ensure our children are happy and well-adjusted.
To all those men out there who realize what a blessing they have in their children and thank God for the chance to nurture and guide your children, I THANK YOU from the deepest corner of my heart. It is men like you that still give me that sliver of hope I have for all us single moms doing it on our own. Now if you could please go down the nearest genetic testing laboratory and donate some DNA so we may clone you at our earliest convenience it would be very much appreciated. Do it for the kids!!!!